The question, does what you wear on a date matter seems pretty easy to answer to most, yes it does! Everybody does not agree with this notion though.
Debate.Org asked this very same question and 57 percent said it does matter and 43 percent says it does not. The 43 percent that says it does not matter is mostly saying you should have the freedom to wear whatever you want.
I agree that you should be free to wear what you want, however like it or not, we subconscious or un-subconsciously judge people by their appearance.
We Judge and Don’t Even Realize It
A perfect example of this is Tyler Tooveren at Riskology wrote an article on the Psychology of Dressing Well and he stated how he was on the bus and he appeared to not know where he was going and a man asked if he needed some help. He explained his situation and he advised he exit in the next two stops
Not long after another guy standing in the aisle was ear hustling and advised he should get off the next stop. He obliged and got off the next stop. Why did he listen to this guy and not the first one?
Well, the man in the aisle looked like he worked at a nice office building and was coming home from work. He was dressed up nicely. The first guy was wearing sweat pants, a stained t-shirt and did not look like he showered that day.
Tyler did not realize until after he got off the bus that he judged him without even thinking about it first hand. This is something that I am sure we are all guilty of at some point in our lives. This can certainly happen while dating.
Looking Good Is The Goal
You are probably thinking, the goal of what you will wear on a first date is to look nice. Sounds about right! You also want to make sure you’re clean and smell decent. This is your checklist before leaving on a first date, right?
If you’re like me, you may go above and beyond the normal checklist. I may wear something brand new in my closet or purchase a new outfit. My scent would be one of the ones I like to wear for special occasions. Marc’s Jacobs “Daisy” is fire!!!
I also like to use special body washes and body butter to enhance scents on my body! Am I doing too much, maybe but I like to make a good lasting first impression.
How We Dress Can Effect Us Personally
What if I told you that this way of thinking is not all there is to think about when it comes to dating and making a first impression. There are many researchers that have done tests on first impressions with clothing.
How you dress on a first date may not only have an effect on your date, it can affect your behaviors as well. I know I do not like to go out looking a mess. It throws everything off and makes me extremely self-conscious.
For example, I can be at the grocery store and be looking a mess and see somebody I know and hide and walk the other way. I know that seems rude but again I am self-conscious about my appearance. Being presentable at all times is very important to me.
That is why I advise looking decent when leaving the house at all times. A wrote a blog a while back about wearing pajamas in public, which a lot of people do at the grocery store. You can read more about that here.
Psychology Today shared in an article of a study done in 2012 published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. They put participants of this study in white coats and told them they belonged to doctors and their abilities to pay attention increased.
They eventually told them the coats belonged to painters and their attention spans went down to zero! Dressing like you don’t care or with little to no effort can cause you to be less focused and less alert. That is in work and personal relationships.
So on a date, pretty much make sure you are dressing in a way that makes you feel your most natural self. Do not dress in something that makes you self-conscious or that is not reflective of your personal style or you for that matter. You do not want your date to judge you based on a misrepresentation of yourself.
Is Dressing Sexy A Bad Thing
Dressing sexy is something I like to do for myself. So dressing sexy on a date is like second nature. Everybody’s definition of sexy or level of sexy is different. I think on a date, a touch of sexy is perfectly fine.
However, we have to think about the goal of the date as well. What I mean is, what are your expectations or the outcome you want for the date? Maybe you want to be sexy to secure an appointment for a night of passion?
I am not judging at all, do you boo!! Being honest about this can certainly sway your decisions for how you dress for the date. I am personally waiting for my King so I like to leave a little mystery. He needs to work for this, lol!
Psychology Today conducted a field study pretty much researching Racy vs Conservative Attire. They basically “discovered” that men thought that women who wore revealing clothing would give it up easier.
I don’t think it took research to figure this out. Anywho, they did a study with two women, one was dressed provocative and the other was not. The men thought they had a better chance for a date and sex with the provocateur. Is that right…?
I am not saying don’t show any of your assets, however nowadays with social media and the internet, seeing skin is not hard at all. You can pick up your phone and find some “goodies” instantaneously.
So why do what everybody else is doing? Leave some mystery to what you got and play it up. A sexy silhouette enhancing outfit may just be enough to keep his curiosities UP in a good way, lol.
To sum it up, just be careful of the vibes your outfit is giving. If you’re waiting for a husband like me and want something long term, you may want to be selective with the goodies you show.
Men are visual creatures and the slightest view of some skin can get them thinking about sex. I say “them” because I am a man, but my dominant energy source is feminine. So, I think more like you girls then I do the boys lol!
If you want to get him a little hot though, I have something you can do without showing skin.
Colors of Love
When dressing up on a date, you should wear the colors that look best on you. There are actually people you can hire that can do a color analyst on you and tell you what colors you should wear.
If you’re like me though, you can just go with what you know and what others compliment you on. I notice I get compliments when I wear the color red. That is actually the color that researchers found men respond to most.
Based on data from Psychologist World they did a study on waitresses wearing red t-shirts at a restaurant and discovered that men left higher tips for waitresses wearing red. They said red appeared to have no effect on women with waiters wearing red.
So what am I saying here? A little red will not hurt peeps! I am already thinking about ways I am going to add it to my wardrobe more.
For the fellas reading this that are looking for a wife, color is not a big deal for the ladies. I advise being presentable and smelling good. That is a good start for me anyway, lol.
Pulling it all together
Basically, you need to be conscious of the clothing you put on when going on a date! I have proven with data from studies done that your clothing has effects on you and the other people’s perception of you.
Yes, you want to dress like yourself and not misrepresent who you are. However, if you normally have an “I don’t care” attitude and apply little to no effort in how you dress, you may want to think this through.
But what if you have no idea on what to put with what or not very fashion-savvy? How can I write this and not provide any examples or inspirational outfits? You got a resource in me that can help you out!
I am helping the ladies and the fellas with this! There are looks for all seasons and dating scenarios! I know this is going to be helpful to you and do not shy away from adding these looks to your Pinterest boards. You can also check out my other Date Night looks post here for even more inspiration. Now go date and look great!!!
Outfit Ideas for the Fellas
I think Sexy School Teacher when I see this look here. I am not normally an “earth tone” person but this is sexy. Imagine your man wearing this and smelling all good….mmmhmm.
This is something you can wear to dinner and a movie. You could wear this in Fall/Winter and maybe Spring if you’re in a colder climate.
He can get it! I imagined styling this for my future King and that is the first thing I thought, lol! You can wear this on a date anywhere. Maybe where this to a concert or play. Wherever you wear it, you get my full attention in this!
Jigga, is that you? I think about Jay-Z when I see this. You can wear this to a sexy dinner boat date. White pants can be worn year-round, so this also works for a date to the Auto Show.
The Auto Show in Detroit was always in January when it’s cold. On that kinda date, the pants can stay white and you stay warm.
I LOVE A MAN IN CHELSEA BOOTS! I don’t know what it is, but I think its the sexiest thing! This is another dinner and a movie type look. It’s comfy and sexy looking at the same time!
Yacht party anyone! Linen is another thing I love to see a man wear! It’s so grown and sexy! A yacht party as a first date ain’t bad either! Especially if it’s privately chartered for only him and me. Wishfully thinking gotta speak it into existence!
Meet me at Starbucks! This screams coffee date. The pre-date to the real date to see if the person is crazy or nah. I have been there before and yes, coffee pre-dates are necessary, lol. This look also looks like you are about to give a keynote at Apple!
This is cute for a date meeting by some water. Like an oceanfront restaurant by a pier. After you eat, you can take a stroll down the beach and maybe even walk the shore. Even when going on this type of date, your appearance still makes a difference.
BET AWARDS??? That is not a date per se, but it could be. This can work for any type of date honestly. Stylish and comfortable realness!!!
Outfit Ideas for the Ladies
This is the perfect look for a Summer Date! It’s cute with a touch a sexy and also has red in it. We know now that the fellas like to see red. The goodie that you show with this look is legs. I see this for a night out in Miami. Don’t hurt him girl!!!
A girl should always have ” a little black dress” in her arsenal. When I tell you it was hard me picking one out though! I was trying to find something that was not showing too many “cookies”. Saw this and was sold. I figured I would play up accessories since the dress is pretty simple. Of course, this look would be worn somewhere more upscale, like a gala.
Ladies who lunch! Wearing this lets a man know you know how to dress! You’re showing no skin with this one, but the silhouette is still cute. You may think this is doing the most, but I think it’s just enough! This is cute for an art gallery opening or maybe a poetry night date.
I am a model and it’s my day off! That is what vibe I get from this look here. I would wear this for a coffee date. Nothing too flashy but it serves a look!
He has a yacht and a private island he owns. I met him in the Hamptons and he wants to take me on a private dinner ride on his boat and to see the private island. This is what I would wear! I have a vivid imagination, lol!
It’s Friday and I have a date after work. Nobody ain’t got time to go home and change and I’m not changing at work either. So I wear this to work! It’s professional enough to get the job done at work, but also sexy enough to be his visual eye candy after work! Where is the date? A rooftop restaurant overlooking the city.
Lady in red on the move! You can certainly get brownie points for this look in a man’s eyes. It’s sexy and sophisticated at the same time. No cookies showing but with the skinny jeans, he gets a little preview, lol! This I see at a dinner play or maybe a jazz concert.